FROM NOWHERE

Living in a privileged world has, above all, advantages. A roof, a bed and food on my plate are basic things that I have never lacked. Also, I have been lucky enough to be able to have and enjoy many things, as well as not having to live with worries that many people do have. One of them is living outside of Spain (and the European continent) in several countries, in a way that I consider quite privileged. I don't have a lot of money but, thanks to my job, I have been able to travel a lot, as well as live in different places. It is an absolutely incredible, enriching, fascinating experience but it has a downside.

The hidden side of living abroad, and of that lifestyle, is something difficult to imagine and explain to someone who has not experienced it, especially if you have been outside of your country, in a place where they have a different language and culture. The feeling of loneliness is abysmal and the obligation to know yourself is a huge black hole from which you do not see how far it goes. A transversal loneliness that runs through all areas and aspects of your life: your house doesn't feel like your house, you don't have friends, family, you don't have people to count on, you don't talk to people every day, you don't have plans, you don't have places you trust, you don't have a safe space, everything is new, including (or I would say, especially) yourself. Also, apart from feeling out of place where you live, when you return home, you won't be from there either: Congrats, you are now from nowhere.

Although not everything is bad (we already mentioned it at the beginning of this article), I'll give you some basic tricks to make your stay away more bearable:

1. First of all, make your house feel like your house. The biggest investment you can make is a home that is –and that you also transform– into a home. Making the place where you live your 'safe space' and making you feel comfortable is one of the most important things. Think about the small details that make the place where you grew up/feel like home and try to bring them to your new home. It will make it feel more welcoming and it will be easier for you to adapt and feel good.
   

2. Learning to be alone. A concept that I don't like at all and that I prefer to call: spending quality time with yourself. Spending time alone, doing things alone, concerts, being in silence, reading, doing sports... Dedicating time to yourself is, in addition to being very important, something necessary. At first it is hard work. You begin to see and process things that you had stored away (and getting to know yourself is not an easy process) but, once this time has passed, you see a new world to discover. And no, being on your phone or talking to people on the phone does not count as time alone.
   

3. Do all those things that you like (with or without people). Related to the above, it is important that you get out of the house and do all those plans that you want to do, whether you have someone to do them with or not. It is an incredible way to enjoy the things that you like and also, if you are not "screened" by your phone, you can meet people there. For example, one of the places where I always meet the most people is when I go to concerts alone (and it's amazing).
   

4. (Re)learning how to make friends. Because yes, it's not easy at all. When you go abroad, in an academic environment, making friends and meeting people is VERY easy. Another story is when you move for work (especially if you work remotely like me). You literally run out of ideas to meet people and make friends. I'll give you a couple of tips. The first is to find a hobby (if you don't have one already) that is with people. From a sport, to signing up for classes in something, like languages, pottery, tennis, boxing... There you will meet people and at least have one thing in common. Also, if you can't afford to sign up for something, there are a ton of free courses and activities you can do.
   

5. Living in the present. Romanticizing your life, wow. It's easy to get into a loop of negativity when you're away from the people you love. Getting poisoned and only seeing the negatives of the place you are living in can be a difficult place to leave. Personally, it helps me to spend time alone, and try to focus on the things that this new place brings me, and especially those things that I have or can do here that I can't in my city/town.
   

In part two, I will tell you about other particularly positive aspects of living abroad and the unconventional lifestyle I have led since I was 19.

And you? What helps you feel “at home”?